Why Coco Is The Best:

After putting The Tonight Show up for sale last week, Team CoCo has taken to the trading site yet again—albeit this time to the Casual Encounters section—offering Conan himself for some "nighttime recreation."

"Tall, slender redhead available for nighttime recreation," the genuine ad reads. Among the features potential playmates can look forward to: "VERY Caucasian," "drapes match the carpet," "can go a whole hour (with scheduled breaks every 7-10 minutes)," and "not afraid to take two people at once, and then a musical guest."

And, of course, there is a time clause.

"NOTE: If you want me to perform after midnight, it'll cost you!"