On his Irish heritage: “Nobody cares if you make a disparaging comment about the Irish. It is the one ethnic group no one gives a sh*t about. ‘Oh, those wife-beating drunks.’ Irish people go, ‘Yes! Ha-ha! We got mentioned.’ They don’t care.”
On whether or not he drinks or has used drugs in the past: “I’ve tried pot, but it doesn’t do much for me. And I’m not one of those people who gets high on life; life really does not get me high. The concept of me on cocaine is absurd. Here’s a true story: I went to a doctor for a physical when I’d been on the air a couple of years, and he asked about drug use. I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘You don’t do cocaine?’ I said, ‘No.’ And he said, ‘I’ve seen your show.’ [laughs] He assumed I was coked up…I like to have a drink now. I like to have two drinks now. Two and a half to three drinks now. Five is just the right amount. Eight is perfect. Nine is too much, but then 10 is better and I become more focused, which is weird.”
On whether or not he thinks he has OCD: “I do not think I have OCD, and I’ve checked with my doctor 10,000 times.”
On how close his new studio is to Jay Leno’s, and whether or not they bump into each other: “We’re in Burbank, and NBC is not far away…I think if I worked out and had help with hydraulics we could hit it with a tennis ball. [Leno is] a guy you hear coming a long way off. There aren’t many three-cylinder engines in California that run on peat moss. And we hang out in different circles, so I don’t think we’ll be bumping into each other.”
On inviting Jay Leno on his new show as a guest: “He can come as the musical guest, because that I want to see. No one knows he has an operatic range [sings as Jay Leno]. No, there are certain things I will not do, regardless of the price.”
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