Currently Making Me Barf:

A new single from Heidi "Asshat" Pratt - perhaps the worst reality show/"artist" in history..even worse than that horrendous "Ke$ha" bitch. Check out these seriously disgusting lyrics..I hope they are not directed toward her flesh eating beard asshat husby The Spence:

"Pick me, take me, off up into ya dungin. I brought some treats. I know that you gon love em. Come eat my panties off of me. Do whatever comes naturally."

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW

Heidi and this garbage she's spewing out will feel right at home on Tila Tequila's new record label. That's right, in between Tila's random Tweets about her recently deceased Wifey, how much she hates the entire Johnson family, trying to withold dogs and Christmas blankets from Casey's friends, being invited on and then denied access to Larry King and just being the best all around trashy reality whore she can be, she had time to start a label. Here are her reasons why people would want to be a part of it:

I am EXTREMELY excited to announce that now have my very own RECORD LABEL!!!!!!! It's just called "TILA TEQUILA RECORDS" because that name is trademarked already so I might as well use it for the Record Label too!  For a long time I have been trying to get this up and going since the beginning of this year and now it's FINALLY DONE!!!!!!!  IT is OFFICIAL!  Tila Tequila has her own record label "TILA TEQUILA RECORDS!"

Tila will "INSTANTLY, literally give you overnight fame."

• She won't take any commission off your record sales.
• YOU WILL BECOME A MAJOR SUPERSTAR FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY "SUPERSTAR!"
• Tequila is "a young, hot, sexy biatch who is relentless and passionate in what she does!"
• Artists under Tila's label will accompany her on tours around the world and receive free first class trips. She will set them up with personalized merchandise and YouTube channels that make money.
  

In the end, Tequila writes "I am the new P.DIDDY except I'm in my 20's, FEMALE, and BOSS BITCH!"

Ummm...okay. Can someone please put Tila, Heidi and every other wannabe famous reality show whore with fake boobs (including all of Lion Cheetah's Lady Friends) in a spaceship and send them far, far away, like to their own planet??  Life was much better before reality TV, seriously.