Run Fatty, Runnnnn!

In Minnesota's latest attempt to showcase our vast assortement of fatties, this particular chunker decided to run across the field of the Metrodome, sorry the recently renamed "Mall of America Field" ohh gaaaash in the 9th inning of the Twins vs. Yankees game the other night - the last baseball game ever played at the Dome. ThankyoubabyJesus. That place is a ridiculous poofy eye sore. I wish they would bulldoze it - I don't care about the Vikings at all even with Faaaaaavvvvre bean, I care about having a cool city skyline without a giant marshmellow dome in the middle of it. Anyhoo, Jeff was at this game and said it hilarious to watch this tub-o-lard running for his life to scale the fence, and the old chubablub security guards racing to catch him - and one of them falling down while doing it. I've always made fun of those idiots standing at attention on the field..they are old and fat and obviously can't keep the dome very "secure." I wish the fatty had made it over because he would have gotten stuck back there, which would have led to more hilarity.

This is almost as bad as when Twins fans threw hundreds of hot dogs at former Twin Chuck Knobloch when he played against them with the Yankees on dollar dog night a few years ago. Seriously tho MN, there are a lot of really hip, cool things about this state - otherwise I wouldn't live here obvs, but you seem to want the world to think you are a bunch of midwestern bumpkin fatsos who need to play ball in a giant dome with horrible music and super cheesy presentations up on the big screens. I've been to baseball games in SF, LA, OC and SD and they make Twins games at the Dome look like Little League. And renaming this monstrosity after another monstrosity in Bloomington called the Mall of America? Please. It needs to stop. Who makes these decisions? If you ever want the rest of the country to think of MN as anything other than a really lame flyover state, stop doing shit like this. How do we have the gorgeous Jean Nouvel designed Guthrie Theater mere blocks from the "MOA Field"??? It's madness.

I am glad they built the beauteous new Twins stadium in my neighborhood tho and can't wait for next season when hopefully the Twins will do better than they did this time - after an exciting victory over Detroilet to get into the playoffs, they really fell apart against the Yankees. Which sucks, cuz I hate the Yankees, who incidentally spend $220 million on their players a year, while the Twins pay $60 million. And they haven't won a World Series since 2000 after spending more than $1 billion. Way to go, Mr. S. So now I will reluctantly start rooting for my old home team, The OC Angels of Anaheim, Disneyland, San Diego and LA or whatever the f*ck they are calling themselves these days, and hope they beat the former Mr. Mariah Carey aka Derek Jeter and ARod's asses. I'm over seeing ARod's main squeeze KHud (who has horrible taste in men btw) and Jay-Z in his lame nerd glasses on the sidelines. And to all my OC Angels fans bros and hos, leave your retarded "rally monkeys" at home, please. They're just as lame as our MN fatties storming the field.